Making Memorials

☀️ Memorials for loved ones who have passed away come in various forms and serve as meaningful ways to honor and remember the deceased.

☀️ Memorials can provide comfort, help with the grieving process, and keep the memory of the loved one alive.

☀️ Memorials can take many different formats and what you choose will depend entirely on what works for you and your family, and what you think would best suit the loved one you have lost.

☀️ It could be something simple and personal such as a photo album you keep at home, to a work of art you can share with others, a physical memorial in a public place, or a charitable gift or fund.

☀️ You may choose to have several different memorials that each fill a different need or space in your home, family, or community.

🪴 It is important to choose something that ‘fits’ well and resonates with you. Go with your gut feeling – what feels right, will be right.

Creating a memorial in a physical location gives you a place to visit and remember your loved one, and also serves as a space for others to visit and remember them too.

Some examples:

🩷 Headstones and Grave Markers: Traditional memorials placed at a burial site or in a cemetery.

• In addition to a headstone, you may consider adding photos, special items, flowers, or other plants.
• Check with the cemetery in case there are any restrictions about what you can add.

🩷 Memorial plaques or benches: These are often placed in parks, gardens, or other meaningful locations.

• There may be a special spot that you would like to place some kind of marker or structure, with or without a plaque.
• This could be simple, like a special stone or ribbon to mark a location, or more formal like a bench, tree, or marker with a plaque included.
• You may need to obtain permission to place your item, so make sure you check this first. You may also need to work out who will maintain and have access to this space.

🩷 Memorial trees and gardens: Planting a tree or creating a garden in memory of your loved one.

• You may need to obtain permission if you wish to do this in a public space, so make sure you check this first.
• You may also need to work out who will maintain and have access to this space.

🩷 Object or statue in your own garden at home: Select and place a meaningful item in your own garden, for you to see and visit often.

• It may be a plant, tree, sculpture, item of art, statue, water feature, or other object.
• Think about whether you would be able to, or want to, take it with you if you move house.

Participating in something active, making a gesture or holding an event can be wonderful ways to remember your loved one. Some of these ideas can be personal just to you, suit a small group or family, or involve a much wider group of people.

Some ideas:

🎈 Anniversary or birthday celebration: This may be small and personal, or a huge party!

• Opt to celebrate and remember your loved one on their birthday or anniversary each year.
• You might go out for a special meal, get a cake, have friends over, share stories of your loved one, or any kind of celebration party that makes sense to you.

📆 A special day: Choose a special date that is meaningful for you and take some time to spend doing something that is important to you, or to your lost loved one.

• You might go for a walk or hike to a favourite place, watch a favourite movie, order your loved one’s favourite food, or visit a meaningful location.
• The day could be as quiet or as busy as you like; it may focus on doing things that your loved one enjoyed, or doing things that bring you comfort.

🌼 Plant and care for a garden: Planting and tending to a garden can be a peaceful and therapeutic way to walk through the cycle of life and growth, and create a living tribute.

• Create a memorial garden in your backyard or a community space.
• Plant flowers, shrubs, or trees that the loved one liked or that hold special meaning.
• Include a bench or a small plaque with their name and a personal message.
• Regularly tend to the garden, making it a serene spot for reflection and remembrance.

📝 Write a letter: Writing a letter allows you to express your thoughts and feelings, providing a therapeutic outlet for grief.

• Write a letter to your loved one, expressing your feelings, sharing memories, and updating them on your life.
• You can keep the letter in a special box, place it at their gravesite, or incorporate it into a memorial scrapbook.
• Revisit and add to these letters over time as a way of maintaining your bond.

🎁 Gift items to others or to charity: Donating items in memory of your loved one spreads kindness and can help others, reflecting your loved one’s values and generosity.

• Sort through your loved one’s belongings and select items to donate to a charity that was important to them or that you feel passionate about.
• You might also create gift packages for friends and family, including items that remind you of your loved one and sharing stories about the significance of each item.
• Knowing that the items are helping others can bring comfort and a sense of purpose during the grieving process.

🍽 Cook a favourite meal: Cook their (or your) favourite meal and take a moment to reflect on your loved one, happy memories of them, and how you are caring for yourself now they are no longer with you.

• On special dates, like birthdays or anniversaries, cook your loved one’s favorite meal.
• Invite family and friends to join you, sharing stories and memories as you eat.
• You might also compile a recipe book of their favorite dishes to share with others, ensuring that their culinary legacy lives on.

🏃🏽‍♂️‍➡️ Organise an event: Bringing people together in memory of your loved one fosters a sense of community and mutual support. The event may aim to get together socially, or it might be a fundraiser or have community impact.

• Organize a memorial event, such as a charity walk, a memorial concert, or a community picnic.
• Include activities that reflect the loved one’s interests and passions.
• Invite family, friends, and community members to participate, share stories, and celebrate your loved one’s life.

🏆 Create a scholarship or memorial award: Scholarships or awards help others achieve their goals, creating a lasting positive impact in your loved one’s name.

• Establish a scholarship fund in your loved one’s name at a local school, university, or community organisation.
• Define criteria that reflect their interests or values, such as academic excellence, community service, or dedication to a particular field.
• Host fundraising events to support the scholarship, and participate in the selection process to maintain a personal connection to the initiative.

🏖 Visit or stay somewhere special: Organise a dedicated time and place for reflection and escape, away from daily distractions.

• Plan a visit to a location that was significant to your loved one, such as their favorite vacation spot, a place they always wanted to go, or a spot where you shared special memories.
• Spend time there reflecting, journaling, or engaging in activities they enjoyed.
• Consider making this visit an annual tradition to continue honoring their memory.

It can be comforting to have or create personal items and keepsakes that remind you of, or honour your loved one. These may be kept just for you, or may be designed to be shared with others.

💍 Jewelry: Items of jewelry that can be kept and worn everyday or for special occasions, keeping the memory of your loved one close.

• Photo Lockets: Lockets containing a small photo of your loved one.
• Cremation Jewelry: Jewelry pieces, such as pendants or rings, that contain a small amount of your loved one’s ashes.
• Engraved Jewelry: Necklaces, bracelets, or rings engraved with your loved one’s name, initials, or a special message.
• Fingerprint Jewelry: Pieces that have your loved one’s fingerprint embossed or engraved on them.
• Mourning Ring: A tradition dating back to the 17th century, where a special ring would be created to commemorate a lost loved one. It may feature important stones, designs, or be engraved with a date or name.

🧸 Make a quilt, cushion, or stuffed toy, including personal items from your loved one: These items are both functional and sentimental, providing comfort and a physical reminder of the loved one. They can be kept in the home and used daily, creating a sense of closeness.

• Memory Quilt: A quilt made from the loved one’s clothing, such as T-shirts or dresses, each piece representing a different memory or aspect of their life.
• Memory Cushion: A cushion or pillow made from a favorite piece of clothing, providing a comforting item to hold.
• Stuffed Toy: A stuffed animal made from the loved one’s clothing, especially meaningful for children.

🗃️ Memory box of your loved one’s special items: A memory box serves as a home for treasured items, and provides a focal point to remember your loved one and their favourite things.

• A decorated box that holds items like photographs, letters, jewelry, and other personal belongings.
• The box can be customized with the loved one’s name, dates, and other meaningful decorations.
• Making a memory box can help you not only sort and organised a loved one’s belongings, but also help with reflecting on special occasions and things they loved.

❤️ Photos of your loved one: Photos can be displayed in a number of different formats and remind us of joyful and significant moments. They are a comforting daily reminder and a way to keep a loved one’s presence alive in the home.

• A collage of photos showcasing different aspects of the loved one’s life, framed and displayed prominently in the home.
• A series of photo frames arranged chronologically or thematically, each frame containing a photo from a special time in the loved one’s life.
• Photos with a narrative of your loved one’s life, showcasing their journey and milestones.
• A photo album or a professionally printed book that tells the story of the loved one’s life through pictures and text. The book can include anecdotes, letters, and contributions from family and friends.

🌳 Family tree or genealogy: Highlights the loved one’s connections and contributions to the family’s legacy.

• A detailed family tree that includes the loved one, showing their place within the family’s history.
• This can be created as a framed piece of art, a book, or a digital project.
• It serves as an educational tool for future generations, keeping your loved one’s memory alive.

🍩 Purchase or make an item they would have loved: A way to honour your loved one’s tastes, interests, and personality.

• Buying or creating an item that the loved one would have appreciated, such as a piece of art, a special book, or a handcrafted item.
• This item can be placed in a special location within the home or used in a way that honors the loved one’s memory.

Digital memorials can be accessed from anywhere, allowing people to participate and remember their loved ones, regardless of geographical location. They are also easy to share with others, and keep up to date.

Some ideas:

⚡ Online Memorial Pages: Websites dedicated to the memory of the deceased, allowing friends and family to share stories, photos, videos, and messages.

• Provides a centralized space for everyone to contribute memories and tributes, fostering a sense of community and shared mourning.
• They are usually accessible from anywhere, making it easy for distant relatives and friends to participate.

⚡ Social Media Tributes: Posts or dedicated pages on social media platforms where loved ones can share memories, photos, and thoughts about the deceased.

• Social media platforms are widely used, making it easy to reach a large audience.
• Friends and family can interact in real-time, offering support and sharing their grief.

⚡ Digital Memorial Videos: Videos compiled from photos, video clips, and messages, often set to music, that celebrate the life of the deceased.

• Provides a visual and auditory tribute that can be easily shared and revisited.
• The process of creating the video can also be therapeutic for those involved.

⚡ Virtual Memory Books: Online books where loved ones can write stories, upload photos, and share memories.

• Offers a structured way to document the life and impact of the deceased.
• They can be continuously updated and accessed by future generations.

⚡ Online Memorial Services: Virtual gatherings held via video conferencing platforms to honour and remember the deceased.

• Allow people to participate in memorial services regardless of their physical location.
• These are useful when travel is difficult or during times of social distancing.

Now that we’ve reviewed some of the different types of memorial, it’s time to start thinking about ideas that would work for you.

Maybe something on the lists above has resonated with you? Maybe a new idea has bubbled up for you?

🎯 Make a list of 5-6 memorial ideas that you’d like to consider. Some may be personal for you, and others may involve more people, or your community.

🎯 Next to each, write down anything you need to consider from a practical perspective:

• Costs
• Timeframe or dates
• How much planning time is needed?
• Does anyone else need to be involved?
• Do you need to apply for or get permission to proceed (eg planting a tree in a public space)
• How difficult emotionally will this be for you? Do you need to organise enough time and support for yourself to proceed?

🎯 Now you can decide which ideas might work best, and which ones you want to start planning.

🎯 Put a reminder in your diary or calendar to review how you feel about these ideas in a few days’ time. Then you start to plan the next step you need to take to make it happen.

This is the end of our Making Memorials course.

We hope you’ve had a chance to reflect on the different types of memorials that you might like to make, and start to make a list of options that could work for you.

🪴 It can take some time and contemplation to get a feel for the options that would work best for you.

• You may like to speak to other friends and family about the ideas and see what they think.
• Some ideas will be personal to you and you don’t need to share these with others unless you would like to.
• You can choose to do something now, or try out different ideas over time.
• Sometimes it can feel too difficult or distressing to undertake making a memorial, so give yourself some space as it may become easier with time, or it might make sense to move along to another idea.

Ultimately, ideas that bring you a sense of comfort, and a connection or reflection with your loved one are the best to choose.

Thank you for joining us to explore making memorials.

❤️‍🩹

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