Managing Anxiety and Panic

Yes, absolutely normal. This reaction is a natural part of the body’s fight-or-flight response, which can be hypersensitive during periods of intense emotional stress such as grieving.

Understanding that these feelings of panic are a normal physiological response to grief can help manage expectations and foster strategies for coping, such as deep breathing techniques, mindfulness, or temporarily stepping back from the task at hand to regroup emotionally.

If you feel that panic and anxiety are becoming unmanageable, or stopping you from moving forward in your daily life, it is important that you find professional help to assist you in managing your symptoms.

Talk to your doctor, health professional, or mental health provider about what you’re going through. They are likely to have several options that they can offer you to help you cope.

When grief and anxiety intertwine, they can lead to a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms.

• Physically, anxiety can show up as an increased heart rate, shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, dizziness, sweating, and trembling. These sensations can feel overwhelming, particularly when triggered by grief-related stress.
• Emotionally, you might experience a sense of dread, hypervigilance, or the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.
• Intrusive thoughts about your grief, along with feelings of fear or panic, can create an additional layer of emotional exhaustion.
• Cognitive symptoms such as racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, or even memory issues may emerge, amplifying the feeling of being out of control.

While these symptoms can be a natural part of going through a stressful or traumatic experience, along with grief, they can cause concern and distress.

It’s important to get these symptoms checked out by a doctor or health professional, to make sure they are not being caused by, or exacerbating an underlying health issue. If you feel that panic and anxiety are becoming unmanageable, or stopping you from moving forward in your daily life, it is important that you find professional help to assist you in managing your symptoms.

Answer: Any time. Especially when you least expect it, and often during ordinary day-to-day tasks.

Experiencing panic during ordinary tasks is a common occurrence in grief. These moments can be triggered by seemingly simple activities that suddenly evoke memories, or when a situation demands emotional resources that grief has temporarily depleted.

Anxiety and panic can become more common when you are exhausted physically or mentally. Prioritise rest and recovery time for yourself.

Unexpected reminders, like a song, smell, food, photo, or location, can suddenly bring up intense emotions and panic. You might see a certain type of food in the supermarket, or drive down a particular street.

What to do: Have a plan for quick, grounding techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. Try carrying a comforting object, or practicing a saying or song that you can repeat to yourself during these times.

Look through ‘Little Steps’ in the Griefity app to find some ideas about techniques you can use when you need to find some calm.

Social gatherings can sometimes trigger anxiety and panic due to the pressure to appear okay or engage in conversations when you’re not feeling emotionally stable. Sometimes the environment is simply overwhelming with noise, people, conversations, and music.

What to do: It’s okay to step out for a few minutes to catch your breath or to decline invitations when you’re not up to it. Letting someone know how you’re feeling leading up to the event can also provide a safety net.

Plan to attend for just a short time so you have a limit on your exposure to anything that becomes distressing. If it turns out you’re enjoying yourself, you can always stay longer.

Routine chores like grocery shopping or cooking might bring up memories and lead to panic and feelings of anxiety.

What to do: Modify your routine temporarily. Shop at different stores, at different times, or order your groceries online if possible. Buy different products, try a food delivery service, or try new recipes that don’t have the same associations.

If you want to, you might like to slowly test accepting any triggering experiences back into your routine, as and when you are ready for them.

Deadlines and professional responsibilities can induce panic and anxiety, especially when concentration levels might be low and emotional fatigue is high.

What to do: Communicate with your employer or colleagues about your situation, if you feel comfortable. If you are feeling overwhelmed, make yourself clear lists so you don’t need to worry about forgetting things. Make a point of finding out if there is a space at or near your work that you can retreat to on a break.

Consider whether it might be helpful for you to take some leave. Many workplaces have provisions for bereavement or sick leave, or may offer support through counseling services. They may have an EAP service enabling you to access free counselling where you can discuss what you are going through.

Dates that hold significant emotional attachment like anniversaries or birthdays, can naturally lead to increased anxiety and panic.

What to do: Plan ahead for these days. It can be helpful to schedule a day off or plan a quiet day with supportive friends or family, or on your own if you prefer some quiet time. Think about a way to honour or create a memorial for the grief you are experiencing. Give it some structure. Write it down. Make sure you plan something, however small, that you find comforting, and schedule it in for this time.

The first step in managing your response to these feelings is to learn how to recognise them.

Grief triggers can be anything that reminds you of the cause of your grief. These might include anniversaries, holidays, particular songs, certain places, or even unexpected reminders like smells or seeing something that resembles a loved one’s possessions.

It’s important to take note of these moments when anxiety seems to spike, as this awareness is the first step in regaining control over your emotional response.

Start by keeping a note or journal of when these events happen. You might like to use something like the notes app on your phone, or send yourself an email to record what has happened so you can refer to it later.

Each time you experience anxiety or panic, write down what was happening, where you were, and what may have triggered the emotion. Over time, patterns may emerge that help you understand your specific triggers, enabling you to anticipate and prepare for them.

Take a note of:

• Where you were, or what you were doing
• What you were thinking about, any memories, emotions, or worries that were on your mind
• What was happening in the lead up to this event? Were there multiple stressful or busy things happening? Were you already very tired or overwhelmed?
• What was ahead of you? Were you anticipating something happening, or worried about something on the horizon?

Also note down whether anything helped you to feel better. What did you do to make it through this time?

Breathing exercises:

• Count while you breathe to slow your breathing down. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold while you count to 7, and out slowly while you count to 8.
• Put your hand on your stomach and breathe deeply into your diaphragm so you can feel your hand rising as you breathe in. Slow your breaths down and focus on your hand rising and falling.

Grounding techniques:

• Pause what you are doing and take a deep breath. Focus on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Take another deep breath and focus on your body and your surroundings.
• Try a body scan. Sit quietly and take a deep breath. Now focus on any tension or discomfort in your body. Are any muscles tight? Is your jaw clenched? Are your shoulders hunched? Intentionally relax or stretch out these parts of your body while you continue to take deep breaths.

Progressive muscle relaxation:

• Pause what you are doing and sit quietly. Starting with your toes, tense the muscles for 5 seconds and then release. Follow along to your feet, then calf muscles, thigh muscles and move throughout your body. Next might be stomach, arms, shoulders, head. Intentionally tense then relax your muscles one by one.

Talk to someone:

• Do you know someone who would be helpful to talk to? Choose this person carefully, as some friends and family are not best placed to be helpful to you at difficult times.
• Call or text a helpline service. These services are staffed by trained people that can have a chat and help you with next steps.
• Talk to yourself. It might sound a little out there, but talk to yourself as though you were a friend in need of support.

Cry, scream, and let it out:

• Find a suitable spot and have a good cry. Sometimes we try so hard to keep our feelings under control that just letting them out can be comforting.
• Yell, scream, stamp your feet, or punch a pillow.
• If yelling is not for you, try writing down how you are feeling, then destroying the paper afterwards.

Guided meditations:

• Check Spotify and YouTube for mindfulness meditations and Yoga Nidra sessions to help you connect and care for yourself.

Self-care habits:

• Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise in your day.
• Reduce caffeine and alcohol intake.
• Journal or write down how you are feeling.
• If you can, spend some time outside, in nature, or near water. Go for a short walk and look at the sky.

Create a ‘calm toolkit’:

• Collect a set of things that help you to calm and refocus during times of anxiety and panic.
• Note these down so you can check for ideas when you need them.
• This list might include songs, a journal or notes app, meditations, short videos, sayings, quotes or prayers that help you to bring your focus back into the moment.

Talk to a health professional:

• Start by talking to your doctor or health professional about what you’re going through.
• Consider working with a therapist or counsellor who is trained in grief and anxiety.
• See if your workplace offers counselling or an EAP service.

Find a support group:

• Find an in-person or online support group to join. This may connect you to professional facilitators, and other participants who are going through similar challenges to you.