Grieving together

To create this course, I interviewed not only vets, but more importantly, people who had recently lost their beloved companions. And in every single conversation, one thing came up again and again: being able to talk to someone who truly gets it, someone who understands the depth of your loss, made all the difference in their healing process.

Grieving alone often makes the pain heavier. It can lead to isolation, shame, or even prolonged suffering. On the other hand, shared grief (grieving with others) has been shown to ease that emotional weight. It’s not just about talking; it’s about being seen and validated, knowing you’re not the only one going through something like this.

You might be thinking, “But I don’t want to burden anyone with my sadness,” and I completely relate to that. But here’s something to remember: expressing your grief isn’t a burden, it’s an invitation for connection.

It may surprise you, but most people feel honored to hold space for someone who’s grieving, especially when they’ve been there too! It’s not about fixing anything, it’s about sharing our pain and giving others permission to share theirs. Together, we begin to carry the weight more gently. And sometimes, that’s all we need to start moving forward.

Here are a few ideas on how to grieve with others:

1. Reach out to someone you know who’s also lost a pet
   Think of a friend or family member who has recently experienced a similar loss and send them a message or give them a call. Sharing what you’re going through can open the door to meaningful connection, chances are, they’ll understand more than you expect.
   
2. Explore books, blogs, or videos about pet loss
   This isn’t exactly “sharing” your grief, but reading or listening to others who have shared their stories can help you feel less alone in your pain, and it can be incredibly cathartic as well. Hearing how others have coped with the loss of a beloved companion can be deeply therapeutic.
   
   One of my favorite go-to people is Jackson Galaxy, his YouTube channel about cats, including videos on coping with their loss, is both comforting and insightful, plus I love his personal style!  He also has books if you prefer reading.

If you have any suggestions for helpful books or YouTube channels, feel free to share them with us at teamgriefity@gmail.com, we’d love to pass them along!

3. Join a support group
   Grief support groups are a powerful way to connect with people who are navigating similar losses. Facilitated by trained professionals, these groups offer a structured and safe space to express emotions, share coping strategies, and receive validation from others who truly understand the depth of the loss. 
   
4. Talk to a grief counsellor
   A grief-informed counsellor or therapist can help you explore your emotions more deeply, develop personalized coping strategies, and work through grief in a private, supportive space. Now, two things I want to highlight:

First, you don’t need to wait until your grief becomes prolonged to seek therapy. In fact, as both a psychologist and a heavy therapy user myself, I genuinely believe it’s better to go before things become a bigger problem.

Second, people often ask me “why do I go to therapy?” I usually joke, “I go to therapy to cry,” but the truth is, I go to give myself a consistent moment of self-care to unpack my concerns, get honest feedback, and walk away with strategies that actually help.

Some say, “You must be crazy if you go to therapy.” I’d argue the opposite: you’re incredibly sane if you do. That’s like saying, “You must have dental problems if you go to the dentist.” No, I go so I don’t develop a problem! The same goes for mental health.

In short: get it out of your system, and if you can do it with others, even better. The more you suppress or avoid grief, the more it sticks around, takes root, and clogs everything up. Don’t let it fester.

Talk to a friend, a group, a counsellor, your journal, your priest, or even the universe, whatever works for you. Just don’t bottle it up. Nobody heals with the knife still stuck in.