Grief can be emotionally and mentally draining, leaving you feeling depleted and running on empty.
It affects both your emotions and brain, making even simple tasks feel overwhelming. In this article, we’ll explore three strategies to help manage low energy levels while grieving.
If you’re interested in understanding the broader impact of grief on the mind and body, be sure to check out our article, Grief 101: What is Grief?
Three strategies to cope with low energy levels during grief
Many of our members tell us that they would advise anyone grieving to nap as much as they can! This doesn’t come easy to all of us, but it is a top suggestion.
“I was just so, so tired. I described it as ‘tired to my bones’. No matter how much sleep I got, I never really felt refreshed at all. That was my life for about two years.” – Rachel, Australia
As well as getting extra rest, here are some strategies that can help when you’re mentally overloaded and feeling emotional fatigue.
1. Aim for self-compassion
Caring for yourself with kindness during a time of loss is a crucial skill that can help you navigate the grieving process. Self-compassion means extending the same warmth and understanding to yourself that you would naturally offer a friend going through a difficult time.
Rather than suppressing your pain with a “just push through” mindset or allowing negative emotions to take over, self-compassion encourages you to pause and acknowledge your struggle. Saying to yourself, “This is really hard right now, what can I do to support and care for myself?” can be a powerful step toward healing.
“My therapist told me to find self compassion I should think about myself as a small child. If the small child is hurting or tired, would I tell them to ‘shake it off’ or would I think about ways to find a moment of peace or rest for them? I learned to talk to myself like I would talk to that small child. I learned to respond to my thoughts with encouragement, or even something like ‘things are so shit right now and you’re doing everything you can, I am proud of you!’ “ – Andy, Chicago
It may feel like a luxury that you don’t have time or space for, but looking after yourself is number one priority in times like these. Instead of harsh self-criticism or judgment, self-compassion means treating yourself with patience and understanding as you grieve. Grief is already challenging, offering yourself kindness can make the journey a little gentler.
2. Focus on the present
Grief often pulls the mind into the past (memories, regrets) or the future (worry, fear), which can intensify distress and drain your energy further. Dwelling on what is out of your control can make it even harder to cope with day-to-day life.
Instead, try to shift your focus to the present moment. When you anchor yourself in what’s happening right now, you reduce anxiety and promote mental and emotional balance.
Ways to stay present include:
- Engaging in mindfulness practices like deep breathing or meditation.
- Grounding yourself by paying attention to your senses (what you see, hear, smell, touch).
- Taking things one step at a time, focusing only on what is immediately in front of you.
By focusing on what you can control rather than what you cannot, you preserve energy and create a sense of stability.
“I have been learning about the idea of the ‘circle of control’. Things inside the circle I can have some control over. This could be things like how many jobs I take on, what I agree to do, when I take a break, what food I buy to eat, how I respond to my kids, and how much of other people’s crap I am open to listening to. Things outside the circle, I have no control over and I need to come to terms with this, and mentally let it go. This might include things like – how other people react, how many requests for jobs/tasks they make to me, other adult’s mental state and energy, what other people choose to do, other people’s judgement of me and my decisions.” – Ruth, London
3. Delegate or postpone anything non-essential
When you’re grieving, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming, and your ability to multitask may be greatly reduced. Rather than trying to do everything at once, prioritise only the most essential tasks and take them one at a time.
Some ideas for task management:
- Break tasks into smaller steps: Instead of thinking, “I have to clean the entire house,” focus on one room or area at a time.
- Use a simple to-do list: Writing things down can help clear mental clutter.
- Delegate where possible: Ask for help from family, friends, or colleagues when needed.
- Postpone non-essential tasks: Not everything needs to be done immediately; allow yourself permission to rest and grieve.
Giving yourself permission to slow down and focus on what truly matters will help reduce mental fatigue and prevent burnout as you process your grief.
Grief is a process that unfolds over time, and it’s completely normal to not feel at full capacity. By being kind to yourself, focusing on the present, you can learn to manage your energy wisely. Griefity is here to provide resources and guidance, helping you move forward in a way that feels right for you.
